I don't know how we did it, but we did :)
Felix is a year old and we're throwing him a little party tomorrow.
I can't believe I lugged my breastpump etc. to work for 9 months.
I can't believe I pumped everyday at work for 9 months.
I can't believe I'm a mom.
I can't believe I'm so lucky. :)
Hope 2013 will be as fun as 2012.
Friday 28 December 2012
Wednesday 14 March 2012
The woes of breastfeeding
My boss had told me that the pain women experience from birthing is nothing compared to the pain they experience from breastfeeding. Truer words were never uttered.
Somehow, whenever I imagined being a mom, breastfeeding my baby was always in there.
The pressure to breastfeed is also incredibly great. Every pregnancy website, book, pamphlet you read when preggers goes on and on about why breastfeeding is best. Your doctor, nurse, relatives, friends, and even the stranger you just met will advise you to breastfeed.
So when I was pregnant, I was absolutely determined to breastfeed and by the time Felix came, I had worked myself into a full I'm-gonna-breastfeed-and-nothing-else-will-do frenzy. I did not buy formula just in case, and just talk of feeding Felix formula upset me (it still does). I know it is bonkers. Plenty of babies are formula fed only, but I just wound myself up too much to unwind now on the matter.
As I had blogged previously, I had a burst blood vessel and was not able to sit or lie down directly on my butt. I therefore had to use the side lying position when feeding Felix for about 10 days after Felix arrived. I was not getting the right latch and it hurt like crazy! Just imagine sandpaper meeting nipples. Although I knew I wasn't supposed to feel any pain when nursing, I was so anxious to breastfeed Felix that I just told myself to ignore the pain as I just didn't know how to get the right latch.
At about 3 weeks in, the pain was so bad that I just couldn't bear to let the baby latch as I could feel the pain before it actually occurred. It was pure mental torture, like every 2 hours, I had to work myself up into putting my finger into an electric pencil sharpener.
Due to this, I wanted to allow latching as seldom as possible, so I did not switch breasts at each feed. Eventually, my sister heard about all my breastfeeding woes and she advised me to switch. I did and the additional times latching helped me practice getting the correct latch. About 6 weeks in, the cracked nipples were gone, and now at 11 weeks I can happily say that I'm not afraid of breastfeeding anymore :) I love how convenient it is to go out, no bottles to worry about and at night, no need to drag myself to the kitchen at all. Most of all, I love bonding with Felix.
Course I also had lotsa pumping breastmilk drama. I started pumping in February so that when I go back to work, I would have extra stock in case of wastage and Felix needs more than I can produce because I'm back at work. I was given a Tommee Tippee Electric Breastpump, and it was really not for me. Too many parts to assemble and wash each time, and it was slow as hell. It took me at least 40 minutes to get 2 oz at one sitting. I then bought the Medela Swing Breastpump and only one word, "HALLELUJAH!". I usually spend about 10 to 15 minutes per sitting and I can get about 4 oz. Unfortunately not all days are good days and I've recently reverted back to 2 to 3 oz per sitting. :( I don't know why. Hopefully things will improve. I'm trying to drink more water etc. I was stuffing myself, but it just made losing weight harder.
*Fingers crossed* Felix will be breastfed only up to the minimum WHO recommendation of 6 months.
The pressure to breastfeed is also incredibly great. Every pregnancy website, book, pamphlet you read when preggers goes on and on about why breastfeeding is best. Your doctor, nurse, relatives, friends, and even the stranger you just met will advise you to breastfeed.
So when I was pregnant, I was absolutely determined to breastfeed and by the time Felix came, I had worked myself into a full I'm-gonna-breastfeed-and-nothing-else-will-do frenzy. I did not buy formula just in case, and just talk of feeding Felix formula upset me (it still does). I know it is bonkers. Plenty of babies are formula fed only, but I just wound myself up too much to unwind now on the matter.
As I had blogged previously, I had a burst blood vessel and was not able to sit or lie down directly on my butt. I therefore had to use the side lying position when feeding Felix for about 10 days after Felix arrived. I was not getting the right latch and it hurt like crazy! Just imagine sandpaper meeting nipples. Although I knew I wasn't supposed to feel any pain when nursing, I was so anxious to breastfeed Felix that I just told myself to ignore the pain as I just didn't know how to get the right latch.
At about 3 weeks in, the pain was so bad that I just couldn't bear to let the baby latch as I could feel the pain before it actually occurred. It was pure mental torture, like every 2 hours, I had to work myself up into putting my finger into an electric pencil sharpener.
Due to this, I wanted to allow latching as seldom as possible, so I did not switch breasts at each feed. Eventually, my sister heard about all my breastfeeding woes and she advised me to switch. I did and the additional times latching helped me practice getting the correct latch. About 6 weeks in, the cracked nipples were gone, and now at 11 weeks I can happily say that I'm not afraid of breastfeeding anymore :) I love how convenient it is to go out, no bottles to worry about and at night, no need to drag myself to the kitchen at all. Most of all, I love bonding with Felix.
Course I also had lotsa pumping breastmilk drama. I started pumping in February so that when I go back to work, I would have extra stock in case of wastage and Felix needs more than I can produce because I'm back at work. I was given a Tommee Tippee Electric Breastpump, and it was really not for me. Too many parts to assemble and wash each time, and it was slow as hell. It took me at least 40 minutes to get 2 oz at one sitting. I then bought the Medela Swing Breastpump and only one word, "HALLELUJAH!". I usually spend about 10 to 15 minutes per sitting and I can get about 4 oz. Unfortunately not all days are good days and I've recently reverted back to 2 to 3 oz per sitting. :( I don't know why. Hopefully things will improve. I'm trying to drink more water etc. I was stuffing myself, but it just made losing weight harder.
*Fingers crossed* Felix will be breastfed only up to the minimum WHO recommendation of 6 months.
Thursday 16 February 2012
Before I forget...
The eternal optimist in me had made fabulous plans to blog all the huge moments of Felix's arrival and his first few months, as and when things occurred. Obviously, things did not quite go according to plan and all I've managed to do was post a piccie of Felix and Jason (see below).
Well, I have finally found the chance today to blog a bit. (Read: Felix is sleeping and I'm not passed out next to him.)
Christmas Day
I woke up at 8 on Christmas morning to pee for the16 millionth time during my pregnancy. Being the grumpy pregnant late night owl, I quickly plonked myself back in the bed when I was done, only to shoot straight back up again cause I felt the "Bloody Show". No, not a drama nickname I've given to what I experienced but the actual medical term for it.
I told Jason the baby was coming, and he shot straight up as well and started saying "Let's go to the hospital" over and over again. I wasn't convinced at first but when there seemed to be a little more blood, I caved.
We checked in at 9-ish at the Hospital and were checked out at 11-ish because I was 0 (not even an-ish) dilated. As we were sent off, my doctor happily said "See you in 2 days!".
So there was nothing for us to do, but go home and wait.
Christmas Night
I can't remember what happened that afternoon, I guess we were just too anxious, but late afternoon, I decided a movie marathon would be best to pass time. So that's what we did, we watched "Love Actually", "Home Alone 2", "Die Hard" and "Batman Begins". Jason likes to say the movie choices got steadily more violent as the pain increased. I think it was somewhere between "Home Alone 2" and "Die Hard" that my contractions started and we started timing the length and gaps between. Only way to describe the contractions - worse period pain ever. Jason was so sweet and gave me back rubs and made sure my hot water bottle was there to ease the aches.
Boxing Day
At 230 in the morning, we realized that the contractions were only a few minutes apart, and decided to check in again at the Hospital. 230 to 930 was a blur of pain, falling in and out of sleep. I got a shot of painkiller/anesthesia (I didn't care what it was, so long as it reduced my misery before my scheduled epidural.) The epidural shot was awful. It took 4 tries to find the right spot, and the first 3 tries hurt pretty bad. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people for whom an epidural doesn't work 100% :S. I could still feel most of the pain of the contractions.
[Movie myth busted - in the movies when the doctor checks how many cm dilated the poor gal in labour is, the female actress never ever shows how painful/uncomfortable the check actually is. It is, oh it is.]
At 2 in the afternoon, I was fully dilated and the pushing process started. Here, I must say that I surprised myself (and Jason) by not swearing at all, but I think I was pretty noisy. I kept apologizing after screaming/moaning though. The pushing process is really not as simple as people yelling "Push!" at regular intervals and you pushing. There were so many instructions being yelled at me simultaneously by the midwives "Push!", "Think of Baby", "Look at your tummy!", "Spine down", "Pull the bars on the bed!". It was havoc. Once I was able to process all the things I had to do when pushing, the midwife tried to encourage me by saying that I was doing a great job and that a few pushes more I'd be done. In all that havoc, the eternal optimist in me was reawakened and I literally told myself, "3 pushes and I'll see baby!". I was wrong.
After half an hour of pushing, my doctor told me that we weren't progressing as well as I should and so he'd be using a vacuum to assist the delivery, Felix arrived not long after that. He was a screamer. The midwives immediately placed him on my chest, and he stopped screaming or crying, and just looked at me with his massive eyes, and he had me, I was in love. His face as he stared at me is burned in my memory.
The vacuum, and I mean this so much, sucked. Though very grateful that Felix arrived safe and sound, it resulted in a burst blood vessel for me. I was in excruciating pain, and couldn't sit or lie flat.Since it wasn't visible, nobody knew why I was crying and moaning and just thought I was being a baby about the usual aches and pains from giving birth. After I begged Jason to ask the midwives to give me something to knock me out, they finally got it that I wasn't just being a baby and that I was in serious pain. The doctor was called and he discovered the burst blood vessel. He then (Hallelujah!) gave me something to stop the bleeding and to help with the pain
I was then taken to the maternity ward. We stayed for 3 nights. An extra night cause I was still in pain, and an extra extra night cause Felix had slight jaundice. A lot of it is a blur now, but I remember being so comforted by the fact that our loved ones were there to see us and how incredibly happy I felt when Felix was brought to me later. Whenever he was taken to the nursery, I would listen for the sound of the baby cots being wheeled cause I'd be hoping it was Felix for me.
Well, I have finally found the chance today to blog a bit. (Read: Felix is sleeping and I'm not passed out next to him.)
Christmas Day
I woke up at 8 on Christmas morning to pee for the16 millionth time during my pregnancy. Being the grumpy pregnant late night owl, I quickly plonked myself back in the bed when I was done, only to shoot straight back up again cause I felt the "Bloody Show". No, not a drama nickname I've given to what I experienced but the actual medical term for it.
I told Jason the baby was coming, and he shot straight up as well and started saying "Let's go to the hospital" over and over again. I wasn't convinced at first but when there seemed to be a little more blood, I caved.
We checked in at 9-ish at the Hospital and were checked out at 11-ish because I was 0 (not even an-ish) dilated. As we were sent off, my doctor happily said "See you in 2 days!".
So there was nothing for us to do, but go home and wait.
Christmas Night
I can't remember what happened that afternoon, I guess we were just too anxious, but late afternoon, I decided a movie marathon would be best to pass time. So that's what we did, we watched "Love Actually", "Home Alone 2", "Die Hard" and "Batman Begins". Jason likes to say the movie choices got steadily more violent as the pain increased. I think it was somewhere between "Home Alone 2" and "Die Hard" that my contractions started and we started timing the length and gaps between. Only way to describe the contractions - worse period pain ever. Jason was so sweet and gave me back rubs and made sure my hot water bottle was there to ease the aches.
Boxing Day
At 230 in the morning, we realized that the contractions were only a few minutes apart, and decided to check in again at the Hospital. 230 to 930 was a blur of pain, falling in and out of sleep. I got a shot of painkiller/anesthesia (I didn't care what it was, so long as it reduced my misery before my scheduled epidural.) The epidural shot was awful. It took 4 tries to find the right spot, and the first 3 tries hurt pretty bad. Unfortunately, I'm one of those people for whom an epidural doesn't work 100% :S. I could still feel most of the pain of the contractions.
[Movie myth busted - in the movies when the doctor checks how many cm dilated the poor gal in labour is, the female actress never ever shows how painful/uncomfortable the check actually is. It is, oh it is.]
At 2 in the afternoon, I was fully dilated and the pushing process started. Here, I must say that I surprised myself (and Jason) by not swearing at all, but I think I was pretty noisy. I kept apologizing after screaming/moaning though. The pushing process is really not as simple as people yelling "Push!" at regular intervals and you pushing. There were so many instructions being yelled at me simultaneously by the midwives "Push!", "Think of Baby", "Look at your tummy!", "Spine down", "Pull the bars on the bed!". It was havoc. Once I was able to process all the things I had to do when pushing, the midwife tried to encourage me by saying that I was doing a great job and that a few pushes more I'd be done. In all that havoc, the eternal optimist in me was reawakened and I literally told myself, "3 pushes and I'll see baby!". I was wrong.
After half an hour of pushing, my doctor told me that we weren't progressing as well as I should and so he'd be using a vacuum to assist the delivery, Felix arrived not long after that. He was a screamer. The midwives immediately placed him on my chest, and he stopped screaming or crying, and just looked at me with his massive eyes, and he had me, I was in love. His face as he stared at me is burned in my memory.
The vacuum, and I mean this so much, sucked. Though very grateful that Felix arrived safe and sound, it resulted in a burst blood vessel for me. I was in excruciating pain, and couldn't sit or lie flat.Since it wasn't visible, nobody knew why I was crying and moaning and just thought I was being a baby about the usual aches and pains from giving birth. After I begged Jason to ask the midwives to give me something to knock me out, they finally got it that I wasn't just being a baby and that I was in serious pain. The doctor was called and he discovered the burst blood vessel. He then (Hallelujah!) gave me something to stop the bleeding and to help with the pain
I was then taken to the maternity ward. We stayed for 3 nights. An extra night cause I was still in pain, and an extra extra night cause Felix had slight jaundice. A lot of it is a blur now, but I remember being so comforted by the fact that our loved ones were there to see us and how incredibly happy I felt when Felix was brought to me later. Whenever he was taken to the nursery, I would listen for the sound of the baby cots being wheeled cause I'd be hoping it was Felix for me.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
